Friday, January 22, 2016

From ridiculously luxe parties to custom designed footballs for all of your friends, this is the perfect Super Bowl itinerary for someone looking to have the trip of a lifetime. Read more here.

Come Super Bowl time, the Bay Area is a playground for the wealthy. But when it comes to budgeting, the billionaires of the world can have just as tough a time as us thousandaires. With a whole host of luxury packages and VIP deals to choose from, what's a humble tech mogul/hedgefunder/heiress to the corn baron of the Upper Midwest to do? We crunched the numbers to find the best ways to spend your Super Bowl weekend without going a penny over your modest $1,000,000 budget. Read on—or pass along to your personal media consumption surrogate—then forward to your assistant to start the booking.

Vivid VIP Package

Price Tag: $550,000

As a high roller, it's vital you haul an entourage with you all weekend to give you an aura of importance. This package covers flights to the Bay Area on a private jet, lower level tickets to the game, three nights of lodging, limo transportation, an on-site concierge, and access to miscellaneous parties throughout the weekend for you and 19 of your closest friends. For some people this would be enough to guarantee a great weekend. Those people are stingy misanthropes. Choosing only 19 people upon whom to bestow your wealth and generosity would be impossible. So you'll need an alternative housing option for the weekend…

Remaining Budget: $450,000

Fairmont San Jose

Price Tag: $150,000

Put up eight more pals for three nights in the Fairmont San Jose's Presidential Luxury Suite. For a mere $150k, they'll get Super Bowl tickets, an in-suite private butler, two chauffeured Escalades, a top-shelf in-suite bar, 12 bottles of Dom, and a host of other amenities—spa treatments, wine touring, magnums of wine, and 5k worth of Apple products. Oh, and free breakfast, because even the Rockefellers among us don't want to suffer the indignity of a $39 breakfast buffet.

Remaining Budget: $300,000

Dinner for 28 at Saison

Price Tag: $23,800

Head to San Francisco's spendiest restaurant for Friday night dinner, where the meal, pairings, tax, and tip will run you about $850 a head. The joint has three Michelin stars, so at the very least you can smother that hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach with some delicious haute cuisine creations.

Remaining Budget: $276,200


Price Tag: $4,635 for three ManServants, four hours/day for three days

Look, Super Bowl weekend is a visual cornucopia for those who enjoy scoping out beautiful women. From the shot girls to the cheerleaders to the hairless women in bandage dresses that are a dime a dozen at dance parties, there's no shortage of eye candy for the straight males and lesbian ladies in attendance. Those who prefer a bit of rippling man bod, though, are outta luck until the tight football pants get broken out on game day. But a good host looks out for the needs of every guest, hence: The ManServant. For $125 an hour, a beautiful man with the name, attire, and backstory of your choice will serve as butler, bartender, and personal assistant. Let "Thad," the hunky unemployed surfer from Oxnard, mix mojitos and dole out neck massages while "Enjolras," the Bordeaux-born student revolutionary, sings battle hymns and "Chris Pine" stands in the corner looking contemplative.

Remaining Budget: $271,565

Super Bowl Breakfast Priority Table

Price Tag: $2,500 for a 10-person table x three tables = $7,500

Kick off Saturday morning with priority seats for you and the whole gang at the Super Bowl Breakfast, emceed by former 49er Brent Jones, whose name probably means something if you are a football fan? You'll get to rub shoulders with folks like Mike Ditka and Jack Del Rio while you pick at scrambled eggs and wonder if buying a football team would fill the hole in your heart.

Remaining Budget: $264,065

Golfing at The Spyglass Hill Golf Course

Price Tag: $315 per person x 10 people = $3,150

Sure, the No. 2 golf course in the world is just a short jaunt over in Pebble Beach, but we're not aiming for quality, so you'll have to settle for No. 81. Stagger your tee times to squeeze in all your golf-loving buddies, and make sure they're all up to snuff sartorially. Untucked shirts are for slatterns and miscreants.

Remaining Budget: $260,915

Private Jet, New York-San Francisco

Price Tag: $117,500

Forgot your golf clubs again, eh sport? Never fear, that's basically the reason private jet travel was invented, so have your assistant hop on a long-range jet and deliver your clubs in person. At just two-and-a-half hours each way, she can hit the road at 7am and you'll have your trusty nine-iron in hand by the 10:07am tee time.

Remaining Budget: $143,415

8 Bespoke Designer Footballs

Price Tag: $15,900

No party is complete without décor and favors, and 28 custom footballs decorated by CFDA members fill both needs. Use the Tiffany & Co. ball as a centerpiece for your sitting room, then hand it off to Junior when you come home to make up for missing his PeeWee playoff game.

Remaining Budget: $127,515

Leather & Laces Party Celebrity Cabanas

Price Tag: $25,000 x two nights = $50,000

This two-night bacchanal at The Metreon promises to be exclusive, with single night tickets starting at $495. But no need to settle: $25k gets you 15 VIP tickets (leave your second-tier friends at the door so as not to tarnish your rep), a personal hostess for the evening, unlimited bottles of ultra premium liquor, and two magnums of Moet champagne. Plus you'll get to meet celebrity hosts like Alessandra Ambrosio, who will smile politely as she thinks about how much money she's raking in for every minute your polo buddy drones on about the merits of Pelham bits. Sure, you could settle for a single night of tickets, but you're better off booking both evenings to stave off the existential despair that will set in if you have unscheduled time to wonder whether you'd be worthy of love and friendship without your millions.

Remaining Budget: $77,515

Rolling Stone Super Bowl Big Game Bash VIP Table

Price Tag: $19,000 for a 10-person table x two tables = $38,000

Money buys you options, so you should insure yourself against crappy parties by staking out multiple VIP table options for Saturday night. Rolling Stone's annual party will be held at The Galleria in the San Francisco Design Center this year, and Avicii is the headliner, so if nothing else you can hit the dance floor until you forget that even your Swiss bank account can't pay for your father's approval.

Remaining Budget: $39,515

Maxim Party VIP Table

Price Tag: $25,000

From the Rolling Stone party, head to Maxim's bash on Treasure Island, where, as the name implies, there's sure to be booty aplenty. The top-tier VIP table gets you 15 spots at a private table and enough top-shelf liquor to make your entire crew believe they genuinely like each other: eight bottles of champagne, three magnums of vodka, and three bottles of tequila.

Remaining Budget: $14,515

Taste of the NFL VIP Table

Price Tag: $10,000 for a 10-person table

This food and wine showcase matches celebrity chefs with celebrity players from every NFL team, so you can stroll, snack, and stock up on autographed merch. Your VIP table gets you early entry and secured seating, so you can avoid rubbing shoulders with the plebes. Wouldn't want to come away smelling of Drakkar Noir and meat sweats.

Remaining Budget: $4,515

Cartier Yellow Gold Love Bracelet

Price Tag: $4,000

Before you hitch the jet home, stop by the Cartier outpost at Westfield Valley Fair. Consider this purchase insurance for when your spouse finds all those photos from Saturday night. Divorce is bad for business and therapy is time-consuming, but jewelry just takes five minutes and an AmEx Black!

Remaining Budget: $515

Plane Sustenance

Price Tag: $15

Just because you're loaded doesn't mean you can't appreciate a ginger ale, some salty snacks, and the latest Grisham while in midair.

So what about that last $500? Spend it on some regular merch. A single Nike Elite jersey will set you back $300, after all.

From ridiculously luxe parties to custom designed footballs for all of your friends, this is the perfect Super Bowl itinerary for someone looking to have the trip of a lifetime. Read more here.

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